The Grace to Release the Debt

The “Boli” (Roasted Plantain) Analogy

Imagine you are holding a piece of hot boli straight from the charcoal fire. It is burning your palm, the heat is blistering your skin, and you are crying out in pain. A friend sees you and shouts, “Drop it!” But you reply, “No! I won’t drop it until the person who put it in my hand apologizes!”

That sounds foolish, doesn’t it? Yet, that is exactly how we handle unforgiveness. We hold onto the burning coal of resentment—the betrayal of a business partner, the cruelty of an in-law, the “longthroat” of a relative who stole an inheritance—and we refuse to let go because we want “justice.” We think that by staying angry, we are punishing the other person.

The truth is, unforgiveness is like drinking “sniper” and expecting the other person to die. In the Nigerian environment, where “wickedness” can be very intentional, the grace to forgive isn’t just a “nice” religious idea; it is a spiritual emergency.

The Vertical and Horizontal Flow

“And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.” —Matthew 6:12 (NKJV)

Also:

“Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.” — Ephesians 4:32 (NKJV)

Notice that the grace to forgive doesn’t come from your “good heart.” It comes from the Vertical Flow (God to you) spilling over into the Horizontal Flow (you to others). You don’t forgive because they deserve it; you forgive because you have been forgiven.

From Judge to Trustee

We must shift our role from being the Judge (trying to sentence our enemies) to being the Trustee (handing the case over to the Higher Court).

• Forgiveness is Not “Approving” the Sin: Forgiving the “Haman” who tried to ruin you doesn’t mean what they did was okay. It means you are refusing to let their “wickedness” dictate your “wellness.”
• The “Debt” Release: In the Greek, to forgive means “to let go” or “to send away.” It’s like canceling a ₦5,000,000 debt. You acknowledge the debt was real, but you decide you are no longer going to spend your life trying to collect it.
• Vengeance is a “Heavy Load”: When you try to take revenge, you are doing God’s job, and you don’t have the “Grace Capacity” for it. It will break your health and block your prayers.

The Land Dispute

I remember a man named Elder Joseph. His younger brother, through “juju” and false documents, took over their father’s choice landed property in Lagos. For ten years, Elder Joseph was in court. He was bitter. His blood pressure was high. He stopped sleeping. His “amen” in church was weak because he was always thinking of his brother’s “downfall.”

One day, during a communion service, he felt the Holy Spirit whisper: “Joseph, give me the land.” He didn’t mean give the land to the brother, but to release the right to be angry about it. Elder Joseph stopped the court case. He told his brother, “The land is yours. I have God.” Six months later, a company approached Elder Joseph to buy a “small, useless” plot of land he owned in a remote area—that area had just been designated as a Free Trade Zone. He sold it for ten times the value of the land he “lost.” By letting go of the “hot boli,” he opened his hands to receive a feast.

3 Steps to Forgive the Unforgivable

1. Acknowledge the Pain: Don’t say “It’s nothing” when it is “something.” Tell God: “Lord, what they did was wicked and it hurt me deeply.” Grace works in the light of truth.
2. Separate the Person from the “Tool”: Remember that often, people are just “tools” used by the enemy or by their own brokenness. Like Jesus on the cross, say: “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.”
3. The “Transfer” Prayer: Whenever the memory of the betrayal comes back to make you angry, say: “I have released that debt. I have handed that person over to God.” Do this as many times as it takes until the “heat” leaves the memory.

The Prayer of Activation

Father, I thank You for the Grace that covered my own sins. Today, I choose to be a channel of that same Grace. I name [Name the person] before You. I release them from the debt of my anger. I refuse to be their judge any longer. I hand the “justice” of this situation over to You, the Righteous Judge. I choose to be free. I choose to move forward. My heart is no longer a prison for my enemies. Amen.